Lunch with Miss. Kathy: There is a story trapped behind every Face

You never know what interesting story is hidden in a good lunch.

Everyone has an interesting story to tell. No one is 100% boring.

I met Ms. Kathy at church, a  beautiful Caucasian senior citizen in her 70's (you really couldn't tell though because she looks way younger). The day we remained behind at church for "new members meeting" and she offered me a ride home with us talking all the way to my house, I felt the spark of friendship ignite. We started texting a couple of weeks ago as young gals do these days, and finally I took the leap to ask her out for lunch.

 I suggested Olive Garden as I believed it would be quiet enough, affording time for meaningful conversation, and Ms. Kathy kind of looked like a "Pasta Gal". She shared with me she actually loved Olive Garden and we quickly agreed on a time and date with much anticipation. You see Miss. Kathy was living away from her daughter and grand children hundreds of miles away and like her, I was thousands of miles away from home. To make matters worse, with both my parents recently passing away two years prior, those thousands of miles felt like trillions! Like Miss. Kathy, I yearned for close family and we partnered together at Oliva Garden to reciprocate fulfilling this yearning.

Who is Ms. Kathy? Not the Ms. Kathy at Church, But the Real Ms. Kathy behind the face...

Ms. Kathy turned up looking gorgeous as usual almost looking younger than me. We both went for soup and salad as neither of us were hungry. We started talking immediately while waiting for our soup and salad which didn't take long to arrive. I tried not to pry, but I sincerely wanted to know Ms. Kathy on a deeper level than a mere "face" at church that just smiled and waved at me. I was intentional to get to know who she was to serve her better as a friend. I no longer wanted to assume who she was but I wanted a first hand account from Ms. Kathy herself and I made all the time in the world to learn about this remarkable lady.

So, What Exactly Did I Learn?

“Never judge anyone whether for good or bad without hearing their story first”

Well, I learned that Ms. Kathy is 76, and loves Zuppa soup. I also learned that she had a two children, one gorgeous model-looking granddaughter (Brooklyn) who is extremely smart, and about three very handsome grandsons. Her son and daughter were all half-black as her ex-husband was a black man. There was another man (we will call him "The Poet) that liked her when she was much younger but she thought that he was a bit too boring for her taste, as all he did was write poetry all day long. She settled with the Black guy who she met on blind date but got divorced later on but they still manage to remain friends. She has a son-in-law who played in the NBA for the New York Knicks and The Los Angeles Clippers, who though divorced from her daughter, they still remain close as she thinks he is a genuinely nice soul. Ms. Kathy and I shared something else in common as she was a teacher like me. She claimed that she is a pretty boring person but we spoke for two hours. Come on Ms. Kathy, I know boring people and you are definitely not one! Your stories took me on an emotional journey as you brought me behind the confines of what the world sees daily, and into the secret passage of your soul-- a treasure box of splendid memories wrapped in beautiful emotions of joy, sadness, timidity, brokenness, and peace--- all makings of a life well-lived.

But  What Should We Really Learn From My Lunch Date with Ms. Kathy?

• There is a story behind every face, whether a smile, a frown, an expression of indifference, haughtiness, or anger. Instead of judging someone so quickly to see them as "nice" or "horrible" learn to have an open-mind and realize that the same way we wish to be accepted and understood they too have a story that has made them the way they are which qualifies them for reciprocated acceptance and also being understood.

• It doesn't take much to be a friend to someone. A lunch date at Olive Garden was all it took for me. In fact I am sure if I had invited Ms. Kathy to meet me at a park or on a nature trail, she would have been just as excited to cease the moment to have companionship. One day like Ms. Kathy if we are blessed enough we will be old and might be in need of company. "We reap what we sow" (Galatians 6:8).

• What good is "fellowship" in a church if we do not know three quarter of the people there? Is this really fellowship. How would I have know that Ms. Kathy was living away from her family had we not taken time away from church to get to know each other? While church is an awesome place to meet believers, the fellowship really sparks when we get to know each other on a more intimate level outside of the four walls of church, where we can pray for each other and just be a friend.

Ms. Kathy and I had a great time together at lunch which ended in prayer and hugs. We have vowed to do it again real soon. Until then we will just continue to text like the young gals we are. My Ms. Kathy is taken, but I am sure there are plenty more Ms. Kathy's out there just waiting for you to take for lunch.

Let's continue to heal together (If you wish) Shalom-- Dr. Nickie Ann